Van bytjies en blommetjies. — Una se gedagtes

Ek was in standerd sewe – dit vat ons nou terug na 1975 toe, in die Hugenote Meisies Hoërskool in Springs, toe die tv reeks Angélique begin het. Kyk, ek vermoed ek het meeste van my ‘Wat elke meisie moet weet’ inligting tydens daardie romantieste van alle romantiese stories-ooit reeks ingeneem.☺ Die reeks het in […]

via Van bytjies en blommetjies. — Una se gedagtes

As dokters en dieetkundiges tog maar die waarde van dr Google besef — Dr. Christa van Staden

Ek wip my sommer uit my kassie as dokters en dieetkundiges hulle oë rol en praat oor mense wat op Dr Google staatmaak. As jy vertel dat jy raad vir jou probleem gekry het. Toe jy jou simptome geGoogle het. Sulke mense maak of hulle alles weet. Ons weet tog hulle doen nie? Ons was […]

via As dokters en dieetkundiges tog maar die waarde van dr Google besef — Dr. Christa van Staden

24 Lost Gardening Tips from 100 Years Ago ? — PoinTTalkers

STORIES CONTRIBUTED BY MICHAEL MOORE While many things improve with age and advanced technology, there are some things that stand the test of time. What worked perfectly a century ago is still just as effective and useful today as it was then. Here are some great gardening tips from the early 1900’s. 100 years ago […]

via 24 Lost Gardening Tips from 100 Years Ago ? — PoinTTalkers

Ringing Cedars’ Anastasianism

Vir byna 3 jaar nou al, loop ek die wêreld vol met die click van ‘n mouse. My avonture het my anders na my lewe laat kyk. Hoeveel tyd ek mors voor ‘n skerm, hoe tuinmaak my ‘n groter liefde vir die Skepper gee as wat kerk toe gaan doen, hoe meeste mense wat nooit ander gelowe ondersoek eintlik ‘n pyn in die gat is. Ek wil graag nie ‘n pyn wees nie. Ek wil alles weet van almal se manier van glo want ek wil met jou kan gesels oor hoe jy dink, ek wil verstaan hoe jou hart werk en wat jou siel laat sing en dalk is ek bevoorreg genoeg om iets mooi by jou te leer. So het ek die week met iemand gesels wat ‘n Ringing Cedar is en reg maak vir ‘n pelgrims tog Rusland toe. Nog nooit van hierdie geloof gehoor nie so natuurlik spring ek uit my vel om te hoor wat dit is en vir een of ander rede pop Rusland die laaste maand oral op waar ek gaan snuffel. Dis ‘n teken reken ek. Ek wil straight of the bat herken dat ek eers gedink het dis ‘n cult (mag dalk steeds wees) en dat alles mooi klink tot hy my vertel van waar almal op ‘n stukkie grond saam bly. Jammer maar ek hou skaars van die 5 mense wat deel is van my lewe, hoe moet ek nou saam hulle bly? Nee dankie. Anyway, hier is ‘n kort beskrywing van wat hierdie geloof is (dankie Wikipedia):

The Ringing Cedars (Russian: Звенящие Кедры) or Anastasianism (Анастасианство, Анастасиизм) is a new religious movement[1] that started in central Russia in 1997 and has since spread across the world.[2] It is based on the series of ten books entitled The Ringing Cedars of Russia written by Vladimir Megre.[2] At the 2018 Frankfurt Book Fair, where the author drew a large crowd,[3] it was claimed the books have sold 20 million copies worldwide and have been translated in 20 languages.[4]

Family, tradition and environmentalism are core values for the Anastasians.[5] The knowledge contained in the books is attributed to a woman named Anastasia who dwells in the Siberian Taiga. Ringing Cedars’ Anastasians are sometimes categorisable as Rodnovers,[6] as many of them are proponents of the return to a Slavic Native Faith (Rodnovery) or other indigenous religion. Other scholars do not categorise them as Rodnovers, but as a distinct modern Pagan movement.[7] The books that the movement relies upon offer a holistic worldview teaching about humanity’s relationship with nature, God and the universe, the creation of the world, the power of thought in modelling the future, cyclical eschatology, relationships between men and women, and education.[2]

The name “Ringing Cedars” comes from Anastasians’ beliefs about spiritual qualities of the Siberian “cedar” (actually a species of pine). Anastasianism has been classified as part of the broad spectrum of self-described “Vedic” religions arising in post-Soviet Russia. Anastasians propose a whole new model of social organisation, that of the “kinship homestead” or settlement (родовое поместье, rodovoye pomest’ye).[8] The Ringing Cedars have become popular in Russia, and the movement has also spread to other Slavic countries, broader Eastern Europe, and communities have also been established in the West.[9] In Russia, Anastasians face the hostility of the Russian Orthodox Church.[10]

The two names of the movement are explainable as follows: “Ringing Cedars” refers to the movement’s beliefs about the spiritual qualities of the Siberian cedar, a kind of pine;[6] “Anastasia” (Ἀναστασία, Anastasía), from anástasis (ἀνάστασις), is a Greek phenomenological word meaning “resurrection”.[11]

The theme of the “singing tree” appears across various Indo-European-originated cultures; Anastasians consider themselves the reintegrators or resurrectors of the authentic Vedic spiritual culture, authentic Russian religion consisting in the cultivation of Rod (God as generation/nature), which has been preserved over the centuries by Russian settlers and volkhvs (shamans) in Siberia who fled the Christianisation of Kievan Rus’—a Christianisation which was decided by the ruling elites in order to disrupt the ties of society and of human society with the natural world (ancestors and gods of the environment as the direct link to Rod) justifying the confiscation of all land and the enslavement of the population.[12]

Beliefs[edit]

Rod’s symbol, representing the attunement with the cycles of the Sun, the day and the year.[12]

Theology[edit]

The Ringing Cedars may be described as a nature religion, since Anastasian spirituality emphasises the sacredness of nature or generation, conceived as a source of divinity and the mean of communication with God (Rod). Scholar Rasa Pranskevičiūtė characterises this vision as pantheistic, and notes how it is a fundamental influence in Anastasians’ social project.[13] They stress the importance of harmony, that is to say giving and receiving love and respect, appropriate reciprocal cultivation, to be put into practice among individual persons and between the community of individuals and the divinity of all nature.[14]

A Lithuanian Anastasian has defined God as follows:[15]

God is Nature – a twitter of birds, the wind, a rustle of trees… everything that is in Nature is the living book of sensual information, and much more: He touches us through Nature.

Anastasians believe that nature is the “materialised thoughts of God”. All living things are believed to be thoughts of God, and therefore by communicating with them humanity may communicate with God.[15]

Morality[edit]

The Ringing Cedars believe in the interconnectedness of all being, and therefore they greatly emphasise the moral responsibility of individuals and humanity towards the surrounding world. They believe that human thoughts and feelings actively, magically influence the surrounding world, having the power to affirm or disrupt natural harmony. Pranskevičiūtė reports the following excerpt from Megre’s doctrine (1998):[16]

When a man is full of love, he is entirely radiant. That energy of radiance reflects into the planets above him in a short particle of a second, comes back to earth again and gives life to everything that is alive… If a man is ful of anger, his disseminating radiance is dark; it cannot rise up and penetrated deeply into the Earth. After striking deep into the bowels [of the Earth], it comes back and manifests itself as a volcanic eruption, an earthquake, war.

In order to be respectful towards other forms of life, Anastasians try to eschew any form of killing, and therefore they adopt vegetarianvegan, and raw food diets, and wear clothes made of natural materials.[16]

Heaven on earth and reincarnation[edit]

Buildings in the Korenskye kinship estate in the Shebekinsky District of Belgorod Oblast.

According to Megre, when a man lives in harmony with his own kin within a homestead of at least a hectare in size, a “love space” is established. A “love space” is where God is presentimmanent, and constitutes a “Heaven on earth”, where kindred people grow together with the surrounding world. The concept of “love space” is not merely geographic, but includes anything good which an individual may create.[17] A kinship homestead is also a web of natural relationship, between kindred people.[18]

In other words, the kinship homestead mirrors the modality of God’s work through nature. In his hectare of land a man is capable of building a house with natural materials, growing plants and domesticating animals, creating an ecosystem.[19] As such it is perceived as a holy land, a microcosm reflecting the macrocosm, wherein individuals may “co-create” with kindred people and with God.[20] According to Anastasians’ own experiences reported by Andreeva and Pranskevičiūtė, the new social organisation represented by the kinship homesteads helps people to leave the unnatural and decaying urban technocratic system, which they conceive as a close system which smothers human creativity ensnaring it in meaningless behaviours.[21]

A Russian Anastasian has described her experience of the kinship homestead as follows:[22]

[It is] a way to open your inner potential – it is the place where every person can open his inner potential to the maximum – in other words, to live in accordance with the programs which have been put by God… Through Nature you can gain insight into God’s purpose.

The “love space” always corresponds to a transcendental space where an individual may be reborn. Anastasians believe that reincarnation may be consciously planned, and it occurs in the lineage. Reincarnation occurs within the “love space”, or the established kin, because the offspring remember their ancestors. The Ringing Cedars believe that humans and all of reality is fundamentally energy of thought, and ancestors may be reborn if they are thought by their descendants.[17]

Eschatology[edit]

In the books, Anastasia teaches a cyclical eschatology, according to which time develops through three phases: a “Vedic” (of vision) period when humanity lives in harmony with Heaven; an “Imagic” (of image) period when knowledge starts to be codified and concentrates in the hands of progressively fewer holy men; and an “Occultic” (of hiding) period in which knowledge is totally “hidden” and humanity’s consciousness severely downgrades. The contemporary epoch is considered to be one of the third type. Anastasians believe that they are at the forefront of the rebirth of a “Vedic” golden age, and their appeals to go “back to nature” imply to go back to the awareness which characterises humanity during such golden ages, which also equates to a reawakening of the ancestors. These ideas are expressed in Ringing Cedars’ books as follows:[23]

When we find our inner charms, how to awake our inner ancestors…we are born as young gods.

Anastasians engage in nature-worshipping ceremonies and individual rituals. Rituals for hallowing the “love spaces” are crucial for most believers.[15] The Ringing Cedars also organise pilgrimages to various sites which they consider to be holy, where they believe they may communicate with the ancestors through meditation. These sites include megalithic buildings like the dolmens of North Caucasus, and sites on the Black Sea coast, especially Gelendzhik in the region of Krasnodar. Lithuanian Anastasians make pilgrimage to a holy site in Tverai.[28]

According to Andreeva and Pranskevičiūtė, Russian Anastasians tend to give a political meaning to their experience, feeling actively engaged in a movement which frees from the yoke of technocracy and evil Western forces.[29] The 2000s–2010s Great Recession has contributed to the strengthening of Anastasians’ eschatological beliefs.[30]

Russian Anastasians also tend to give nationalist connotations to the concept of “love space”, extending it to mean the “Russian nation” as an overarching concept, espouse traditionalist values, and Anastasianism for them represents an ethnocultural phenomenon. Otherwise, Anastasians in other countries, for instance Lithuania, tend to focus on spiritual beliefs and on the restoration of traditional rites.[31] According to some observers, the Anastasian system of kinship homesteads is providing a solution to Russia’s housing problems.[32]

Moenie sê die Hass leer jou  nie iets nie. Hierdie het my laat dink aan die Amish maar die Anastasians is meer betrokke by die samelewing. Ek dink egter ons gaan nog baie van hierdie natuur gelowe sien opduik soos wat die mens moeg word vir stede en skerms. So slim soos die mens is, so min kry ons dit in ons koppe dat ons nie gemaak is om so ver van die natuur af te lewe nie. Maak nie saak wat jy glo nie, ons almal probeer tog maar terug keer na die tuin van Eden waar ons begin het en waar ons saam Hom gekuier het. ‘n Primitiewe instink wat veroorsaak dat mense soos ek hopeloos te veel geld op plante spandeer.

Lekker Dag,

Hasie

Ek moet Russies leer praat! — Dr. Christa van Staden

Toe ons hierheen getrek het, het ek besluit dat ek Russies moet leer praat. Intussen het die lus verflou, die taal is, soos ons in Afrikaans stel, Grieks. Enigste probleem is dat Grieks dalk veel makliker as Russies is om aan te leer, die Russe verwar mens nogal baie. Daarom het ek tot nou toe […]

via Ek moet Russies leer praat! — Dr. Christa van Staden

Hierdie is ‘n moet-lees. Dis goed geskryf en een van die eerste blogs waar ek een van ons mense in Rusland sien rondloop.

Hasie

Van reënbuie, paddas, bygelowe en rituele — Dis Ekke

Woordsnoer: van reënbuie, paddas, bygelowe en rituele. Ek het vanoggend weer douvoordag ontwaak met ’n klomp snaterende wildeganse op die grasdak reg bo my bed. In die lig van die maan wat bleek glim uit eteriese hoogte, het hulle gelyk soos ’n wafferse impi wat ’n oorlogsdans uitvoer in hulle oproerige aandrang op hulle ontbyt…

via Van reënbuie, paddas, bygelowe en rituele — Dis Ekke

The Dopamine Fast

I Did A 24-Hour ‘Dopamine Fast’. This Is What Happened…

 

With entertainment and distractions literally at our fingertips, we are spending more and more time on social media, watching Netflix and playing video games. Whenever we feel bored for a minute, we grab our smartphone and distract ourselves. Or what about grabbing a nice sugary or high-fat snack in order to fill the gap of boredom?

The question is, why do we do these kinds of things even though we know it isn’t good for us? The answer can be found in your brain.

Want Some Dopamine, Bro?

You see, every time you scroll through Instagram, watch something on YouTube or Netflix, receive likes on your Facebook post, play some Call of Duty, masturbate to porn or take a bite of a nice juicy hamburger, your brain produces a strong hit of the neurochemical dopamine. Essentially, your brain is addicted to dopamine and it feels really good whenever dopamine is produced. Therefore, your brain will try to stimulate the repetition of the behaviour that produced the dopamine in the first place. And that’s where things go wrong for us nowadays.

In other words, you scroll through Instagram once and your brain produces dopamine. Before you know it, your brain is signalling you to go back to Instagram because it knows it will get a new hit of dopamine again. All of a sudden you find yourself fighting an uphill battle against your brain — and that’s not an easy fight.

The problem is that a lot of the things that we consider normal in our daily life are not normal at all. It’s normal simply because we have developed a mild (and sometimes strong) addiction for some things on a large, global scale.

Yet, these things are usually the obstacles that prevent you from focusing on your main goals in life. They distract you from doing deep work, your mind is being occupied so that you don’t have to think about what’s wrong in your life, and you are being pushed towards procrastinative behaviour instead of sitting down and doing the work you need to do. All in all, it can have a huge impact on the way you think and behave. And that’s why I decided to do a 24-Hour dopamine fast.

Note: Dopamine is not per se something bad. It’s a very complex neurochemical that is also responsible for motivation, our attention and our decision making. So dopamine isn’t the bad guy here.. It’s the fact that certain man-made pleasures abuse dopamine in unnatural ways that is the real problem here.

The Rules of The Dopamine Fast

For 24 hours, I had to follow these strict rules:

  • No electronics (no phone, Netflix, laptop or video games etc.)
  • No reading of books or magazines
  • No sex or masturbation
  • No food
  • No talking
  • No music or podcasts
  • No coffee or other stimulants

The only things I practically could do were:

  • Write (with pen and paper)
  • Meditate
  • Go for walks
  • Do deep thinking
  • Visualize
  • Drink water

It may seem crazy to follow these strict rules, and I have to admit that I kinda felt like a monk doing this dopamine fast. However, keep in mind that it’s only 24 hours of your entire life. If you can’t follow these rules for 24 hours, you know you have a serious addiction to dopamine and all the other stimulants of daily life. Even though this is our standard nowadays, it’s unhealthy.

Why Did I Do This?

We are overstimulated with impulses from every direction and overloaded with information everywhere we go. The benchmark of what is fun and entertaining keeps shifting upwards, as we’re quickly getting bored by the things that don’t stimulate us enough anymore. Our ability to focus and pay attention is decreasing faster and faster. Heck, most of us can’t even sit still and read a book for 30 minutes in a row without feeling the need to check social media or do something that gives us more dopamine hits. This is a real, real issue.

So many people in my environment talk about how overwhelmed, stressed or stuck they are in life. But then what do they do? They numb their mind by watching another episode of Narcos or Game of Thrones. They don’t give their mind the necessary space, time and stimulant-free environment to come up with insights and solutions for their problems. They continue to drown in a sea of information, entertainment and distractions, while their real problems remain unresolved. And I’m not even blaming them (only a little bit), because most of the modern-day distractions are designed in a way to keep us all addicted (read the book ‘Hooked’ by Nir Eyal for example).

That’s why I decided to do this dopamine fast. I wanted to see what it would be like if I pressed the mental ‘reset button’ and be without external stimuli for a full day. I wanted to see what my mind would do.

Would I go crazy? Would I come up with valuable new insights? Would I be bored? Would I get my next breakthrough? That’s what I wanted to find out.

Here’s What Happened…

My 24-hour dopamine fast, which is now two days ago, was a truly fascinating experience. And to be honest, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. In fact, I gained so many valuable benefits from it that I’ll likely do this dopamine fast every six months or so.

My Mind Was Silent, Yet Highly Focused

Never in my entire life did I have a day in which my mind was so incredibly still and focused. It was truly amazing to witness and it made me realize how our mind and thoughts are essentially being polluted by all the external stimuli that hit us throughout the day.

Especially during my two meditation session of that day, I could notice how calm my mind was. Normally when I’m meditating, it can take some time for my mind to calm down. Sometimes it simply jumps from thought to thought and it can’t seem to be quiet for the entire session.

This time it was different…

From the second I started my meditation, my mind was completely silent. The only thought that would pop up every 10–15 seconds was ‘Damn, is it really this silent right now??’.

Yet, at the same time, my mind was incredibly focused. During the day, I could direct my thoughts very consciously towards one topic that I wanted to do deep thinking for: my business. Normally when I want to do deep thinking, I can have trouble keeping my mind focused on the topic or problem at hand. This time, however, it was a breeze. It was like I finally had my full mental resources available to think about this one topic, and that led to some great new insights…

I Gained Valuable New Insights About My Business

Before starting my dopamine fast, I set the intention to use this day as a moment to think critically about my business. What was I doing well? What are the best next steps? What changes should I be making soon? That kind of stuff.

And finally, because my mind wasn’t busy with processing the past 16 Instagram posts or the latest funny cat video, I could use all of its power and direct it towards thinking deeply about my business. Throughout the day, ideas would pop up, new insights emerged and I was able to gain full clarity on what I was doing well and what my next steps should be.

It felt like my brain was operating in a higher gear. Almost as if I could use more of my brainpower than I normally could (just like in the movie Limitless). Of course, this is because my brain’s working memory had fewer data to process because of the limited amount of inputs it has been getting throughout my dopamine fast. Therefore, more was available for keeping my focus on thinking deeply about one topic.

My Thoughts Finally Felt Like My Own

On those days where I’m very busy or where I simply flood myself with Netflix, video games and social media, my mind can get very busy. It feels like I have no control over my thoughts anymore. On those days, it’s not uncommon for me to experience stressful, negative and (lots of) random thoughts.

But during my dopamine fast, this was different. It finally felt like my thoughts were my own. There were fewer sources that could condition my thinking, and therefore my thoughts felt more in control, calmer and more authentic. And that’s a pretty good feeling to have 🙂

My Brain Craved The Dopamine Hit of Sugar & Fat (Yet, I Wasn’t Hungry)

Beforehand, I thought that not eating for 24 hours was going to be the hardest part of this entire challenge — but I was completely wrong. In fact, I hardly experienced the feeling of being hungry. Only about 5–6 times I experienced a wave of 30 seconds in which I experienced the feeling of hunger.

What was interesting to note, however, was that my brain craved the taste (and probably the dopamine hits) of food — especially sugary snacks and high transfat foods like hamburgers and pizza.

Even though I normally eat relatively healthy, I could clearly notice the difference in how my body didn’t need to process any food during my dopamine fast. Throughout the day, I had consistent levels of energy and my body felt very light. There was no crash in energy and no sluggish feeling, which does happen every now and then on my ‘normal’ days.

I Realized We Are Wasting So Much Time

One of the insights I got during my dopamine fast was that we are wasting so much time. Nearly all of us. No matter how good we already think we’re doing. This is what I wrote in my journal during my dopamine fast:

“We have so much time in a day to do amazing things and make real progress. If only we didn’t numb, distract and choke ourselves by the weapons of mass distractions. We are addicted to fake pleasures that take our focus away from the things we really desire.”

All the time we waste away on social media, watching Netflix or playing video games is insane. And don’t get me wrong here, I definitely think there is a time and place for doing these type of activities — but not for hours and hours a day. Try to trade in one hour of entertainment for one hour of reading, following courses, creating new things or simply reflecting on your life and goals. Start with just one hour per day. That alone has the power to massively change your life over the course of a year.

Now Do It Yourself

As I’ve written in my journal during my dopamine fast:

“What this dopamine fast does is give you the necessary space to reflect, plan, strategize and think deeply. It creates clarity and should be done by anyone who is unhappy, overwhelmed, stressed or stuck in life. Heck, it should be done by anyone just to see what comes up! This day will shine a light on your next steps and the things that are off in your life”.

This is the exact reason why I’d recommend the 24-hour dopamine fast to anyone. Feel free to adjust some of the rules if they intimidate you. Maybe trade the ‘no eating’ rule for ‘eating strictly organic foods’ to make it more accessible for you. Nevertheless, I highly encourage you to try it for yourself and see what you come up with.

Let me know in the comments if you plan on doing a dopamine fast yourself (and if you already did, let me know how it went!).

To Your Personal Growth,

Jari Roomer

Founder Personal Growth Lab

Kinders en Social Media

Vir die soveelste keer die week het ek ‘n waarskuwing op ‘n groep gekry omdat ek die woord “shit” gebruik het. “We are a PG13 group”. Ek kry amper ‘n oorval. Wat soek ‘n kind jonger as 18 op social media? Die van julle wat julle kinders toe laat op Facebook en Twitter moet julle manier van dink vir my kom verduidelik. Laat jy jou kind toe om alleen mall toe te gaan en dan met elke vreemdeling te gesels wat hulle sien? Dis presies wat social media is. Daar is maar ‘n klein verskil tussen social media en jou kind los om te Google wat hulle wil. Waar kry ons die idee dat social media veiliger is as bv Google of vreemde chat rooms? Ek is moeg om hieroor te praat, moeg om vir mense te verduidelik hoe gevaarlik dit is. Besef jy, net een foto van ‘n dronk tiener party en jou kind se hele toekoms kan daarmee heen wees? Dit help nie jy probeer hulle “reg” groot maak nie. Die goed kan nie verder as môre dink nie want die brein is nog nie so ontwikkel nie. Dis ‘n feit, deur slim mense met groot titels bevestig.

Image result for dangers of social media

Danger #1: Sharing too much

While it certainly isn’t advisable for kids to post information about the school they attend or their upcoming whereabouts, typically speaking, online predators work in much more nefarious ways than showing up at a given location they found out about on online (more on that in a bit). On the other hand, identity thieves thrive on knowing the everyday details of people’s lives, as they can offer more info than posters realize.

“Identity thieves love social media because people talk about their pets, their hometown, their favorite sports teams, etc., which are all usually the answers to security questions and passwords,” says Getz. “It’s very easy for somebody looking on social media to steal someone else’s identity just by paying attention to the things they say and do.”

Danger #2: Assuming private means safe

While having accounts set to private will offer some level of protection, the truth is, it isn’t much.

“Kids think that when they use social media, they’re safe if they set it to private,” says Getz. “But when they accept the requests of friends of friends, mutual friends, people they may know and people they played games with, it’s a different issue. Privacy equals control, and when a child posts a picture or a comment, they need to remember that they’re transferring control of that thought, feeling, special moment or image to all of the people that they are sharing it with, and there’s nothing to stop followers and friends from sharing it with others or even turning it into an embarrassing meme.”

Danger #3: Connecting with a predator

There are some serious creeps on the internet.

“Cyber-predators don’t just see a child online and then look for their address and go take them,” says Getz. “That’s a predator of opportunity. Internet predators are predators that groom. They cultivate relationships with a child online and then have the child come to them, so they don’t have to take the risky approach of locating the child to abduct them.”

Danger #4: Allowing your child to get on social media too early

The national campaign Wait Until 8th suggests parents refrain from giving their children phones until they’re in eighth grade and access to data until they’re 16, given the potential, negative emotional and developmental effects of smartphone and social media use for children who are younger. Wait Until 8th points to the following study-proven reasons to wait:

  • They interfere with school work and grades.
  • They’re addictive.
  • They’re preventing kids from getting outside and having real-life interactions.
  • They increase anxiety and depression.
  • They interfere with sleep.
  • They can expose kids to sexual content.

Danger #5: Not having clear-cut phone rules

Regardless of when you give your child a phone, you want to restrict their use on it to avoid the issues above. Furthermore, drawn-out rules should be put in place from the get-go to avoid power struggles and arguments.

“When we first gave my son his phone, we didn’t lay out any ground rules,” says Jennifer Vaccaro, of Hillsborough, New Jersey. “He was on it all the time! Eventually, we needed to rein it in, and he wasn’t happy at all. We should have done it right off the bat.”

Danger #6: Assuming you’re in the know if you’re ‘following’ your child

If kids don’t want you to see what they’re posting, they’ll find a loophole.

“Many kids get a ‘finsta’ account [a blend of the words “fake” and “Instagram”] in order to stop their parents from seeing certain information,” says Getz.

While their specially curated, secondary “finsta” account — the one their parents and older relatives have access to — will contain content and photos mom and dad will approve of, that may not be the case with their primary, “real” (or “rinsta”) Instagram account.

Danger #7: False marketing

Adults may be able to see through deceptive marketing tactics and bogus Instagram posts, but for kids, it’s not as easy.

“The content that is portrayed on social media and the internet often isn’t real, which can lead kids to believe in false realities,” Hamroff says. (Think skin that’s edited to look flawless and influencers who seem to be on a never-ending vacation.) “This can be extremely damaging for kids when they’re growing up and figuring out their self-identity and detrimental to their psychological development.”

Danger #8: Online bullying

Cyberbullying is a huge concern for most parents and with good reason: The effects of it are serious, sometimes even resulting in self-harm or suicide.

“Children’s identity and self-esteem are very fragile during early adolescence,” says Grover. “Online bullying, gossiping, verbally abusive language can send a teenager into a profound depression or spike their anxiety beyond their ability to manage it, resulting in panic attacks, phobias and obsessive-compulsive behaviors.”

Read the full story: https://www.care.com/c/stories/4275/5-dangers-of-social-media-to-discuss-with-you/

Image result for dangers of social media

Be safe en hou jou snowflake onder my voete uit asseblief

Hasie

 

Thoughts on the Psychology of Poverty —

A friend recently made a statement that, though he later rephrased it, made me think about a subject that I not only have lived through, but am actively trying to address during my stint in the Peace Corps. My friend and I were discussing the possible promotion of a colleague when he stated that others […]

via Thoughts on the Psychology of Poverty —

A very good read. I was just discussing white squatter camps with the husband yesterday and we had a long talk about lazy vs being dealt a bad hand. But let me just make one thing very clear, when you are squatter camp poor, please don’t bring your snot nose kids and expect my heart to bleed. When a dog is being neglected, it is removed. So should the rule apply to children being born into these camps. Do you not know how babies are made? Do you honestly feel that since you have nothing, having more mouths to feed is a great idea so your kids can suffer with you?

Hasie